I know that this is an odd way to start a blog post, But I am Terrible at being a Girl. I mean that in the most ladylike way possible. I have been bad at it since I can remember. I was blessed with an incredible Twin brother, and we did everything together when we were younger- play in dirt and mud, wrestle, catch slimy creatures, nap, cry, get in trouble, shout down our homemade outdoor grill pipe "Underwear is fun to wear!" ..Ya know. Typical sibling stuff. ha.
I’ve struggled with the fight to be a decent girl my entire life, and because of my odd understanding of them, it had caused me to be bitter with the Female Gender.. But, it’s left me with having the amazing opportunity of being able to make, keep, and title so many of my guy friends, as Good friends. We are real with each other. Often times, I know it would just be easier to be a guy. What an Escape Route?!?! BUT, as much as I can hope and wish to be completely and un-awkwardly be a part of a Men's time, I can not be.
This realization has helped me to face one of the most difficult things I have struggled with. ...NOT being a Chauvinist Pig. Yes. I mention the bitter thing again- I really had harbored sooo much anger and frustration towards women and had almost become the farthest thing away from being able to just explain them because of my lack of respect for them.
Old view of Women: They're ditzy, and two-faced. Stubborn. Generally obsessed with outer appearances. They are weak. Helpless. Can't drive. And shouldn't ski because there is "no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom". I had been angry with women for so long. Having had the past I had with just observing and not fitting in with them, it was a wonder I even remained to give women a chance..
Well, it turns out, I hadn't met the right ones and the right impressions had never been made.
The Kicker: I have been attending a Women's Bible Study, held Tuesday nights, called Rubies (Proverbs 31:10). It’s organized by women of a larger organization through WVU called CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ).
These women have changed my life.
I went to one single little meeting last year as a Freshman. I noticed that this single meeting had changed so many girls, and really meant a lot. I couldn’t understand. I remember meeting a RedHeaded Beauty that night. She admitted of holding so much back from the past and, just, wanted to open up so badly to us. I love you Natalie. But, I was so ready to be macho-ly vulnerable, lay things out on the line, be tough, abrasive, aggressive. I quickly learned that women AREN'T like this. There were sooooo many waterworks the very first night. Honestly, I wasn't ready for that. I wanted friends. NOT more pansies to lean and sob on my shoulder.
I didn’t give them a chance, though. These women. These WOMEN. AMAZING. I mean, I just.. can’t say it enough. They embrace God. They are wise. Tough. Honest. Joyful. Patient. B-E-A-U-Ti-Ful. Educated. Goal oriented. They want the same things I do. They love God more than I could even imagine. AMAZING.
Women are complicated, but they can easily be explained, and loved. They are strong things. They are amazingly beautiful things. They have minds, and are capable of making their own decisions. They are also capable of finding and learning to trust the man of their dreams, and submitting to him, and trusting him enough to submit. I’m not talking just sexually, but, in every area of life. Trust is Huge.
I have gone through life, and met a TON of people, already. I plan to meet more. The ones that come into my life and truly change it for the better, I let them stay. They stay and influence & inspire me to be a better human; a better Ainslee. Whether they are female or male, doesn’t matter to me anymore.
Girls may get sappy over little things like Love Stories and puppies, but it takes patience to understand why. First of all, BOYS even get ooey gooey over puppes.. and the Love Story thing: Girls just want to be treated right. They want to find a man that’s not going to waste their time. A guy that will also tell his daughter that no Boy is good enough for his daughter. A guy that cares about, and loves his life. Crazy thought, I know. Women are constantly seeking that dream man. The love of her life.
Girls can be dramatic, and think WAYYYYY to far into things, but it’s the way God made us. Girls over-think EVERTHING. They assume, and put a definition behind every action. It’s out of caring, and trying to understand the world provided. I mean, seriously, at every waking moment, and at any given time, a woman is thinking about 7 different things. Crazy I tell you. But they make more sense to me.
Men and Women will never see eye to eye 100%, but it makes life interesting! If a man doesn’t always look at a woman why she is speaking to him, it doesn’t always mean he isn’t listening. It’s in how we were raised. Men will probably adore sports and man time more than ANY woman could ever understand, but as a woman, it is understood that we know our Men need that time to keep their Sanity. Ha. And men can’t always drop what they’re doing to serve women at their every whim, but that is why women are blessed with patience…
Women honestly come in every way imaginable. Short, tall, skinny, large, blonde brunette, red-headed, harsh, girly, sporty, loud, controlled, emotional, bored, musical, artsy, ditsy, plane-jane, positive patty. Whatever the case, we’re all women. And when it comes down to it, and the time is right, we can all prove to be lovely, intelligent, strong, and all unique.
It has taken me 2o years to realize that I should be proud to be a woman. I should be proud to be a part of something that is bigger than I could even imagine. I am swimming in a Lake of swans. Encouraging, incredible, humorous, God-loving/living/breathing Swans. I would like to call those Swans.. my Sisters of Christ.
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