Artist Statement

     I prepare my mind like a sculptor prepares to carve a sculpture from a block of marble. Stopping. Visualizing what the end result will look like. I grab my material- happiness, comfort, interesting, eclectic, challenging. What will come out the other end of my sewing machine?  I begin to understand how clothing is put together. Every seem. Every stitch. Every stop and start. Every movement of my needle. I sew to calm my nerves. I sew to show everyone who I am through my talents and my taste. I sew to prove myself, to all who gaze upon me and all who doubt me. I sew for God.
     I picture the end result as unique. Vintage. Individual. What can I make that people will notice? What will my given talents from God allow me to make?  I think modest with a twist of professionalism and post-World War II. I think Dior. What a man. I sew the garment as to be stable and long lasting. I hardly pay attention to trends, but when I do, I add a twist of myself. I picture garments that can start conversations. Garments that turn people's heads and get them thinking. I construct my garments not for attention, but for when on-lookers gaze upon me, they see a little of themselves in my work: the quirky, fun-desiring side; their inner child, their wildest dreams.
     When I begin to sew, I reminisce. What am I holding in? What do I want to create the feelings of while wearing my piece? I sew with rainbow taffeta, silk and velvet, and shower curtains- to show my living side.  To express the me that I never could as a child. To be the light that I was never able to be. Even if I fail at exactly what it was that I was trying to make, I end up with something more different than I could have even imagined (often as God does for us through all things), and I end up having so many blessed conversations through my most odd pieces. I crave to have people tell me that they wish the could let go of as much as I do, and wear the things they want to wear. I love hearing that they wish they could stop caring what people think of them, and not follow main-stream society. I crave to have my on-lookers minds crave things that are not understood or even accepted by "everyone else"- right along with me. I want to shape the world with the freedom that I experience within the comforts of God. He accepts us- no matter what we wear.  Why not wear things that allow us to grow as people and not as the produced robots that culture tells us we should be? Why follow the norm? Why not dress joyfully and comfortably, and uniquely? Why not pick statement pieces that reflect our individual personalities that God has blessed us with?  I sew for love. I sew for understanding of self. I sew, for God.

Butter Noodles.

       The past few months have BLOWN MY MIND.
God has changed me in almost every way I could even imagine.  These past few moths have been more on the eclectic side of things, but as far as my version of human goes- this is how I grow.
God is Always Strenghtening our relationship with Him. Through EVERYTHING.  Whether it's the smallest little sampling of patience/ longsuffering, or He tests you with having you give your Brother up to the Country in which you worship Him Freely, and all the time.
       Over and over, God has been revealing to me how important it is to be confessing, and to be having CONSTANT fellowship with Him- whether that is through attending a good church, getting involved in the community, and Praying.
       And through SO MANY blessings of Discipleship, I have opened my eyes to a whole new look on my God.  It's funny how different something can be when you are listening to it compared to if you are teaching it.  God is Just, Beautiful, Jealous, Loving, Patient, Amazing, and Holy (to name a few...)  
       Through the conversations I have had, I have experienced passion, love, care, joy, and a whole new perspective on how broken I really was. "It took God to show me how Broken I Really Was..." (thank you Beautiful Erin Shepherd.. :)  Love you, Darling.)  And on top of that, how much, We as humans.... suck.
       But it's equally important to remember how God sees us, and why.
       One simple answer: As Perfect because of Jesus.
       WOW.
       I mean, ....WOW.
       God have HIS SON!!!! What kind of a Father would do that?  OURS!!! THAT's WHO!!!!
       WHAT A SACRIFICE so that we could walk and live in the Light, and get to bask in the glow of Heaven when we leave Earth. AMAZING AMAZING.  WOW.
       Everyday, I am becoming closer in my walk with God and becoming, well.. more Christ-like.  He WANTS us to life like He did while he was on Earth. He WANTS us to reflect that, so that Earth, or our Country, or even our Communities, could be better places.
       We suck. Really. But, if we Believe, I mean, you've got GOD.  What are you EVER going to do on Earth that could top THAT????
       .......Yeah... Thought so.
       A life in the Darkness (humankind sinfulness) is like an Unhealthy Diet. No rules or guidelines. No definement of what a healthy diet would look like, or oblivious to consideration for exercising. Then, you notice a need to change after you can no longer zip up your jeggings. Sooo, you decide to begin to live a healthier life, as to change the outcome of your future. Now- a path has been set out for you. Exercising, fruits and vegetables, and all that jazz. Then, one day, you decided to meander away from those low-calorie sandwiches, and the cutting out of breads and sweets, and you decide to indulge in Butter Noodles.  (What an Incredible Snack. Unhealthy, NOT whole-grain pasta- smothered in 17 shakes of a salt shaker and half a tub of Butter. Yeah. Paula Dean knows what she's talking about with that butter thing..)  Automatic guilt after the first bite, but Soooooooo Delicious. You experience happiness for almost half a second after every bite. Then, when you're done with your plate of noodles, you start freaking out, and doubting so many things. Unsure of yourself, your reflection, and the thought of whether your Spring Break bikini will fit... You broke your diet. You'll never forgive yourself. But, the cool thing is- that evening you talk to your nutritionist/ personal trainer. He says that it's okay. We don't consume and indulge in the right things 100% of the time. We do stray in guilty pleasures and don't treat our bodies the way we should. But, we can get back on the right track. Your fitness trainer comforts you, and reassures you that everything is still right on track- because you learned from those Butter Noodles. You learned that it hurt to stray away from your diet. It hurt to only have temporary happieness rather than the joy of dropping a few pounds for Spring Break.
God is our Personal Trainer/ nutritionist.
He is the giver of the "diet" and the graceful forgiveness.
The Butter Noodles are the Delicious Temporary Happiness we refer to as Sin.
We are the Consumer of the Butter Noodles and the ones that learn more and more everyday how to walk in the light, and understand fully who God is, what He is capable of, and how He wants to affect our lives. We are the ones who grow from those "Butter Noodle-ful" experiences and become stronger in our diet, and out relationship with our Personal Trainer.
       Thank You God, for my Growth, and for Growing those around me. Thank You for my Words, and my gift of Encouragement from You. Thank You, Father,  for your Beauty, and you love for Us everyday and at every waking moment.  Continue to make us "healthier" in our walk with you, and help us reach the Beach: eternity with you. You, are an AMAZING God.   Amen.

Come Sail Away...

ADAM

My Twin Brother, My Best Friend.

My Pain, My Support System.

My Bully, My Protector.

My Weakness, My Strength.

My Earthly Humility, My Pride.

My Tears, My Happiness.

My Brokenness, My Comfort.

My Muscles. My Huggie Boy.

My “just a phone call away.” My “so far away”.

My Prayer Request. My Prayer Answered.

My Past. My Present. My Future.

My Little Big Brother.

Adam, I have always been proud of you. And now, it’s not just because of the little things that you never thought mattered.

This is HUGE.

This truly is Some thing to be proud of.

But, don’t think I didn’t notice all of the little things. All of them.

Don’t think that I didn’t take notice every time you stood up for me. Don’t think I didn’t notice every time you sacrificed your comfort for mine.  

It meant more than you could ever know every time you built me up behind my back.

I know you hoped I never noticed, but I know you look up to me.

I couldn’t be more honored to call ANYONE ELSE my Brother. Every opportunity I have, I brag about you. You make me so Proud. You have a heart of gold.  Everyone else here knows it too. 

You, are no ordinary Brother.

You are MY Brother.

So successful in the things in which you are passionate about.

Never ashamed to be affectionate or silly.

Always Adventurous. Always Encouraging.

People smile when they see you coming.

Adam, That’s a blessing of a gift. Not everyone carries that.

Growing up, when people had a hard time tolerating you, I saw YOU. I saw the heart underneath of the sometimes, slight cluelessness.

The first time I saw people really take notice of your compassion, was when you were doing something you truly loved, something that I introduced you to- 4-H.

Your first year, an “H”. Wow.  I was livid when you didn’t get “Most Outstanding First Year Camper”. When they gave you that “H”, I balled. What an honor. My Brother. All those years of getting picked on- and that moment was so worth it for you. I could tell because I could feel it.

 Someone had finally taken notice. But Adam, I always have.

The things I could do with your Selfless Heart.

I know you are not leaving forever…

But, we will just have to let loose of the Huggie Happy Boy we always knew.

You will come back more appreciative of what you’re a part of.

You will come back more appreciative of your family, and friends, and will not take as many things for granted.

You will come back a Man.

The truth is, you will still come back as Adam.

Just, a more mature Adam.

You’ll still be the one that was there with me as we began to grow and understand the concepts of walking, and talking, of playing and sharing, of life, and love, of Heaven,

and Death, and of God.

You’ll still be the one who drank “chocolate milk” out of the mud puddle in the driveway.

You’ll still be the one who decorated the bathtub.

You’ll still be the one that gave me a pumpkin lip, a chipped tooth, a broken arm and chicken pox.

You’ll still be the one that yelled at me when I tried to teach you how to spell and read and helped to graduate high school.

You’ll still be the one that sat on top of the homemade grill with me and shouted “Underwear is Fun to Wear” for hours.

You’ll still be the one that would chop down trails into the brush just so we could go on pretend adventures for hours in the places we shouldn’t have been anyway.

You’ll still be the one who introduced me to new things: Adventuring, Milkyweek, Videogames, Weight training, Mustard, and lighters. –Even though, not all those things turned out for the best… hahah.

You’ll still be the one who believed me that putting books down our pants was a good idea.

You’ll still be the one who wrecked the Go-Kart with me.

You’ll still be the one who jogged with me on the beach to the dock when Dad slept.

You’ll still be the one who threw snow in my face.

You’ll still be the one who sees it my way that having an accessory around your neck is fashionable, and not a sign of being crazy.

You’ll still be the one who would drink imaginary tea with me out of Mom’s not-so-imaginary yet, expensive teacups.

You’ll still be the one that held my hand through every moment I needed it.

You’ll still be the one who feels for me, and I, for you.

But, it IS a big deal that you are leaving.

We will be strong for you, until you turn around.

Just thought I’d be honest.

Mama is letting go of her little Boy, Cierra- her fighting partner, Dad, his only Son, and I, my Twin Brother.

Adam, You will still be the one that I will miss. But you won’t be gone forever. You will only grow up a little bit more. And we will love you the same- maybe more.

We will no longer take YOU for granted.

I love you, Brobbity. With all of my heart.

Love, Sisserton Ains.