We Never Really Grow Up...

A few months ago, I had been pulled away from a hectic lifestyle to spend a few months at home. 

My circumstances led me here, and I know the timing was impeccable, but I have sat so keenly on exactly why this event came to be.
As this Season of life played out, the question answered itself 100 times over.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.
Most of the time, for reasons we can not explain.
But, this is just when faith comes and and overrules our ability to perceive reason and time, and just, trust.
I refer to this, as "Papa God's perfect timing".

In the past few Seasons of my life, Papa God has blessed me with much growth, opportunities, and a tiny bit of wisdom just barely beyond my years.
True praises!
One of the main themes: childlike faith.
To quickly ponder this theme, seems, oh too simple.
But, really think about it..
To look and trust and understand as a child looking up at their Father.
Simplistically. With delight. With wonder. With splendor.
What a way to celebrate God!

We are never, exactly, called to do this, but I am thankful my heart has been melted in such a way to have had the opportunity to do so!
To get down to the ground in scrubs and look at a fallen leaf.
To appreciate the feeling of my fingers glissading their way through water.

To stare up at the sky at any given point of the day and awe how everything had to be JUST right for us to be able to appreciate that.   (..That's God showing off, and flirting.   ...Because He can. ;)
To study the human body as such a delicate and intricate creation. Complex, yet creative. Overwhelming, yet under appreciated.
To walk blindly into Adulthood, aware that my Papa is holding my hand and my heart and leading me in the right direction. The right size steps at the right times. Often times picking me up when I need to be, and sometimes, allowing me to walk right beside Him when He has provided me the strength to do so. Baby steps.

The last year of my life, I have mimicked a child: thankful for every moment of it.
A humbling experience and perspective, indeed!

If you ever take the time to stop while you are young and listen to your elders, they will repeatedly give you the same advice: appreciate your youth; don't be in such a rush to grow up; don't live life with regrets.
I remember a conversation from my childhood with my "Greatma" (Great Grandmother). She gave me that exact advice.
I have since attempted to apply her wisdom to my life.
I don't crave to be 97 as she, and crying tears of regret. Sad that life was too short. Not being able to have ever made the time to laugh with an old friend, travel to the other side of the world, literally stop to smell the roses, or soak in a breathtakingly beautiful sky.

Currently, as mentioned above, I am home.
I am sharing living quarters with a two year old.
He is learning: to run, talk, read, identify objects, laugh at funny things, understanding right from wrong, how pronounce my name, that "Everybody Poops" and applying it to his potty, and embracing the full potential of his "terrible two's"..

It is truly incredible how much we don't thank those who raised us.
(THANK YOU, Mommera & Dadrow. 
More thanks than you can even begin to understand, to you both.)
Sometimes, we focus more on selfishly holding the fork ourselves than we do enjoying, appreciating, and needing the airplane noises it exhaustively takes for our parents to get us to eat.. 

Our parents, literally, taught us everything.
How to eat, sleep, use the bathroom, talk, listen, walk, learn, read, interpret, understand, sing, love, live.

But, most times we forget that, because we remember that they disciplined us.
It's fascinating how much bad we remember over the good.
It's also fascinating that in order to succeed, be a well-rounded citizen, or understand respect, there had to be rules. We had to hear "no". We had to have our tooshies spanked. We had to be told that sometimes, we are wrong.

Isn't this just, an incredibly beautiful reflection of our faith?
Just like our parents, doesn't Papa God set boundaries for us to follow to discipline us, yet have freedom?!

Our parents don't tell us that the "stove is hot" or that they want us "home by eleven o'clock" to punish us or "ruin our lives"- they do it out of love.
They would rather us not burn ourselves. For they will be the ones running to get the First-Aid kit to fix our wounds when WE didn't listen. Angry, afraid, yet lovingly, they nurse us back to health.
They would rather us not be out driving on a dark night, with the ability of hitting a roaming animal, or getting hit by a drunk driver. For they with be ones sitting and weeping in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for any update the Doctors might have on their precious child's life.

Most times, rules aren't meant to tightly restrict us, like a dog on a short chain.
They are lovingly put there to safely allow us enough freedom to joyfully live without getting hurt, like a dog fenced inside of 1,000 acres of property that sits adjacent to a busy highway.

The toddler staying with us is a beautiful baby boy. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a beautiful smile, and a huge laugh.
(My favorite thing about him: when I leave the dining room and walk into the kitchen to grab something to complete the meal. Before I fully enter back into the room, I pop only my head back in just sharply enough to grasp his attention. A ginormous open smile quickly slaps across his face as the loud gust of "AIIINNN-SEEEEEEE!!!!!" squeezes out of his vocal cords.  ..I will miss that the most.)

With the toddler in the house, I hear the word, "NO" almost 300 times a day.
He's actually picked it up as a popular word in his vocabulary because of how many times he hears it! Hahah.
But truly, I love the little sprat.
He has served as a beautiful example of the explained above. 

And it has only, in the past couple of months, painfully sank in just how much I am just like a toddler.

As humans, we LOVE to plan, be busy, and have control over our lives.
...How many times do we have to hear, "no"?
As many as it takes?

Sometimes, the things in life we think we want, aren't quite the things that are meant to be.
Perhaps we aren't aspiring for the things we are truly made to do and we go away to college, and life tears us away from it.
Perhaps we are trying too hard to schedule and control every detail of our lives and become frustrated when everything isn't perfect and we find that we throw more pity parties than we do smile.

God doesn't always speak through a roar or through a huge, obvious, blinking sign.
Sometimes, He whispers.

We mess up, God gets the band-aid.
We choose to disobey and fall away from Him and freely wreck our own lives, and He sits in the waiting room while we heal, weeping for us.
He loves us so much when we're broken.
We are so attune to His presence when we are in need.
He jealously loves that about His children.
All of us.

There is much controversy about religion.
Most of it (within Christianity) is silly little tiffs about "rules".
Examine closer and you will come to find that most of these debated "rules" have been man-made.

Christ attempted to correct this when He walked the earth.
Jesus debated with the Pharisees and Sadducees about all of their rules.
They made people sick. Exhausted. Frustrated. Fearful. Ill at ease.

God does JUST the opposite.
He heals. Refreshes. Calms. Strengthens. Stills.

He commands us to follow simple truths that, if followed, we  will not end up hurt- or hurting others.

God commands us to love.
He calls us to obedience.
He begs us to respect.
He instills wisdom.
He instructs against folly and falling into traps.
Scripture breathes applicable life into our hearts and teaches us simple truth.

As a toddler learns that Mommy and Daddy tells them what is right or wrong, we are continuously called to obey.
As a toddler learns to share, we are told to honor our neighbors.
As a toddler learns that the afternoon is reserved for nap time, we are told to obey a Sabbath Day, and rest. Becoming refreshed in the Lord.
As a toddler learns that we tell the truth and only play with what's ours, we are warned against stealing and coveting.

Proverbs overflows with applicable life warnings, that also yield with conviction.
(Often times when reading them, I writhe in pain of the "ouch"es my heart bears of foolishness..)

Tomorrow, I move.
Tomorrow, I accept adulthood.
Tomorrow, I transition from crawling, to fumbling and bumbling on my feet- until I grow to eat the solids of responsibility and of paying bills, and then a career- learning to truly run.
But, I pray that I may only run straight into the arms of my Papa.
What a wonderful God that provides us light and discernment in a dark, dismal, confusing world..

I am thankful that we will always be His children- no matter how much we feel we have got this Adulthood thing down-pat.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to run to for a hug and a kiss on a hard day.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to pick up my broken pieces and make something even more beautiful.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to love me when the world has decided otherwise.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to listen when no one else will.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to whisper "no" when I am setting up for ruin.
I am thankful that I will always have a Papa God to glorify through all of my little "duh" moments, and in every season of life. ..Always growing. Always learning. Always faithfully trusting.

Perhaps, we never really grow up...

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

They, are Adventurers...

There's a particular breed out there; a peculiar one..
They look at things upside down, and inside out.
The aren't afraid to turn a new leaf, and often times, go back to turn an old one.
They literally stop to smell the roses, and are known, a time or two, to blow the parachutes and seeds off a dandelion.
They get their feet wet. Muddy, even.
They stay up so late their days bleed together and become littered with indistinguishable sunrises and sunsets.
They, awe-inspired, look straight up to the sky even more than they look down into the micro-depths of the ground.
They put more miles behind them than pictures taken, both of which are not small amounts.
They fear little, and laugh often.
"Over the river and through the woods" is yesterday's news; today prepares for bigger things.
Common subject matter: trees, leaves, rocks, waterfalls, mountains, stars, clouds, caves, lakes, wild animals, trying new things, hiking, hole in the wall restaurants, all things abandoned or broken down or grown over or rusting, trespassing, back alleys, reflections, rain, snow, fog, living on the edge, spontaneity, tripods and lenses and flashes, planes and trains and automobiles, state borders, passports, back roads, the abyss, chance, innovation and new perspectives.
They are never trapped within a dull moment and choose to sleep only when they're dead.
They are prepared for anything. And if they aren't, they improvise with what they packed or have in their trunk.
They stay young and embrace change as much as the world chooses to revolve.
Viewed as reckless, but interpreted as bold. Brave. Willing to accept risk.
Amidst danger, crisis, emergency, near-death experiences: they thrive.
No day is ever the same.
Time is thrown out the window: a clock? ...What is THAT?
They make memories that last a lifetime, and then some.
What they do is not glamorous, but a way of life..
They, are ADVENTURERS.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

One EPIC Love Story...

     A lot of stories begin with "Once upon a time.." and end with "..happily ever after." 

But, there's a love story written to me. For me. About me. An EPIC one.  It's actually written to you, too. And it doesn't begin with "once upon a time..". It begins with the making of the universe. And it doesn't end with "happily ever after." It simply, just, doesn't end. That's right. It goes on and on, forever.

And it's actually a love story. What's in a love story that makes it so desirable? Is it that ooey-gooey feeling that you get in the bottom of your heart, or that flittery-fluttery feeling in the middle of your stomach? Is it that promise of dedication from the other person? That promise that they'll be there forever and ever? Through thick and thin? Is it the desirable hot sex? Or the slow love-making? Is it the giggling and running through the rain? The staying up all night just to stare your lover in the eyes and have infinite great conversations? ..What is it?

An earthly fairy tale love story. Why? Those get hard. And sloppy. And unfortunate. And they, most times, end. The ooey-gooey, flittery-fluttery feelings slowly decrease. The dedication gets cut out by busyness and life-obstacles. The hot sex stops, and the love-making becomes less and more meaningless. We become tired and conversations become silent.

But, God's love story to us. It's more than we have or can ever imagine. Love. Unfailing, unending love. Only increasing and becoming more amazing and more intense with time. The maker of the stars, the creator of the universe- loves us! He wants to know and love us personally.

...Is that NOT enough to call you to fall to your knees in praise and thankfulness? I mean, how beautiful is that? How awesome that God was so loving that He decided to join time for a little over three decades, and live with us??!?! And suffer like us? And love us? And show us how to love, and be loved? Christ DIED for us! God, in the human form, took our punishment for sin- out of love. His Father turned away from him and he felt the wrath of the punishment for every sin that you and I and anyone else that was to ever walk this earth, committed.

Everyone lately has been repetitively mentioning that actions speak louder than words.
Yes.
They do.
So why are you still standing there with your ears oped to Man's empty praise, and eyes closed to the love and grace that's right in front of you?
..A perfect Man, DIED FOR YOU. Is that not Action enough?
 Is that not love?  The ultimate sacrifice. One perfect life for broken one? Wow. That's love.

He has loved me. And now, I am called to love like He has loved me.
I am to love God with all of my heart and with all of my soul and with all of my mind and with all of my strength.

It's the most important commandment, love. It's the basis of a good life. Example: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Okay. Simple. Right? 

Wrong.

That's HUGE.

Do you even comprehend what this world would actually look like if people really did that? I mean, every single person. This culture, this world, this society- we are "me" focused.  Media, products, money, families. All of it: "me". Even down to the last drop of survival. We tend to put ourselves above everyone else.

Could you imagine if people just went out and bought new cars, ...and gave it to their neighbor? Or, if someone bought dinner at that new little restaurant that sits on the corner, and had it bagged up elegantly, and gave it to a beggar?  Could you imagine if every time that Apple came out with new products, instead of showering ourselves with their sinfully tempting selection of phones, music players, stereos, and computers- that we would just drop them off at Tiny Tim's or Little Suzy's house because that don't have a way to do their homework otherwise?  

How far away from reality is that? But, why? Why is even just the idea of that, so, ..laughable?  Why has "me" become so stinkin' important?  If Jesus' mindset was "me", do you think that he would have just died for us? Do you think that we would have a golden ticket to eternity? NO. Of course not! He would have spent his days on earth clothed in fine linens and adorning in the fact that people came from everywhere to worship him and wash his feet with precious oils. He would have lived up the attention and shunned those in exile. He would have cared about what man thought of him and he would have taken advantage of God and attempted to test his Father. He would have turned away the blind because he could see that they were and He would have pretended not to even see the lame. He would have lived in a lovely home and attempted the American dream, right? And he certainly would have not died for us.
But for some reason that we can not even begin to grasp our little minds around- we trust that He did. He did love us. He loved us that much. He inspired a love story, provided the words, had it recorded, re-recorded, passed down, protected, and perfectly packaged in a pretty way- right into your hands for you to read about what He did for you.
I mean, this book- it's kinda INCREDIBLE.
Action, murder, kindness, idolizing, war, peace, applicable and relatable advice, mystery, marriage, romance, fear, gentleness, lying, goodness, drama, and Love.
And it's written to you. For for. About you.
It's the Bible.
The God-breathed love story inspired by You.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The Game of Learning & Listening.

     Isn't it interesting, how those who we think we have the largest impact on- have the largest impact on us?  ..I attempt to spend my time reading, and learning, and growing, and sharing, and caring, and loving. 
     Every book I choose to read, becomes me. Every page I write- I crave to share. I want to be able to give those that don't have as much as me, what I have. I want people to love to learn, and to learn to love as I do. I want to share my passion and joy for God with every person I know.
     With the help of God, I can do that. I can talk about Jesus and not be ashamed because He gives me the strength and the faith and the words. 
     You learn a lot when you turn your life around for God. You just, live for Him- fully aware that God will provide you with everything you're going to need here on Earth, and then He'll bless you with eternity, after our brief adventure here- after our battle has been won. I have changed my lifestyle, my passions, and my attitude.
     One would be surprised how different it is learning compared to teaching. And when people are aware that you have wisdom that is beyond you- they seek you out for it. Boy oh buddy do they seek you out. Friends of young, aged, new, and rekindled. They see something inside of you and they crave it.  ..They can't quite put their finger on it- but they know you're different; that you have something that so many others don't have.
It's God.   It's the wisdom of the Spirit. It's the protection of Faith, the love of a Living God.  They don't know that- but you do.
     People can see my joy radiating from across rooms; people see that I'm different- in some odd way. I, am set-apart. But only in the way that I am in Love with a God that is jealous for me and that wants my every thought, desire, hope, passion, and breath. I am at peace. Content. I am blessed with wisdom of the Word- not the world.
     I get so excited to share stories of the Bible that relate to people's current situations. Who knew that the Old Book had new tricks?  Who knew that it's intensity, can scare the Hell out you? ;)
     Several people have sought me out, and it excites me to be able to share and teach and encourage others- but while I am teaching others, they teach me more than they could know.
     I have learned this in almost every life situation. Growing up I was gifted in having the opportunities of sharing and teaching my siblings- especially my twin-but-still-younger brother, Adam. Also, in classes when the teachers were speaking "jibberish". And most vividly-when Discipling three incredible Friends that have become beautiful Brothers and Sisters in Christ, that I could not have been more blessed to have. Being able to teach the Gospel to another is one of the most rewarding and incredible feelings one could ever imagine. The growth that comes from that! When you say it out loud- because you know it by faith enough to teach another, it teaches you, again and again! And never siezes to amaze!!!! ..And when they say it back to you because they've understood it, and then you are allowed the experience to witness them witnessing it- THOSE are the moments God shows His grace.   He saved you. He saved them. He saves others. And ONLY by His power and grace was that done. How beautiful!
     When you hear a single concept for the first time, you kinda get it. ..But when you TEACH it, it truly sinks in. It clicks. It's means SO much more.
     It also recently clicked that one can learn even more when listening. Seems like a simple enough concept, eh? ..But the trick- is actually listening! ..Living and experiencing those feelings right along with the one teaching it or saying it. So much knowledge is to be had, and in so many forms!
     How odd is it that not everyone is in your head? Ha. Yeah. I actually honestly struggle with this... We become so self-centered and become stuck in our own minds, that we forget to have a Christ-like mindset at all, and we stop listening to others.
     Word of mouth is so vital! We listen with ears open and eyes peeled when others are describing awful things or negative experiences. Why do we shut down when those around us are trying to help or when God's practically doing violent jumping-Jack's right infront of our faces?
     Why do we make "quiet-time" (time spent just listening/reflecting with God) so taboo? Why are we so afraid of shutting out the unimportant world just to listen to our Creator? The one who knows what He's doing, that's been there- done that, has a couple miracles up His sleeve, and is the best advice giver EVER? "
     Why don't we listen anymore? Are we too busy talking? Showing the world who WE are? That we're unique because WE think so? That we're better than those before and than those who will come? Do we think we have the best things to say, or the most exciting things to talk about?
     ....What were you talking about 11 days, 7 hours, and 4 minutes ago?   ..Was it even important? Was it relevant? Was it glorifying God? Was it contributing to your witness? Or was it self-glorifying? Were you talking about a bad meal from a crummy restaurant, or complaining about your job, or how exhausted you were, or that you hate Facebook's new un-friendly user format?
     Are we listening to those around us? Perhaps their stories can be inspirations! Perhaps they can help you out with what you're struggling through, because they've been through that, learned, and grew from that because Papa God helped them through it! Maybe their perspective is captivating. Perhaps God has whispered a little more wisdom to them through their quiet times. Perhaps they're going to be the next person to inspire you and help you to turn your entire way of thinking- your entire life, your eternity- in a better direction because they are living a more fruitful lifestyle contantly glorifying God. Perhaps they can help you see the one you desperately desire in your heart is the same reason you're trying to fill the void in your heart with things.  ...But you won't listen. You keep talking about you and everything else.  ..Meaningless, meaningless. Everything is meaningless! ..Unless it is to glorify God.
   Those whom we least expect, often shock us- when we give them the chance to.  When we listen, and learn from them. When we take what we learn and share it. When we are vividly learning how to better serve our God and how to do it a little wiser than what we've been doing. When we let God be our eyes, and hands, and feet, and words, and actions, and open heart. When we crave to be more like Him, and He is craving to reveal a little more of His grace to us every single day.
     Life is full of resources. It's full of unanswered things and it's meant to be. It is jam-packed with people you want to aspire to be, and those who you will inspire via your passion for Christ.
     If you crave to have Christ in your heart- if you crave to have an open heart for Him- He craves to love you. He craves to show you everything you can be through Him. He wants you to have the incredible gift of eternity to look forward to when life is rough. He wants you to be inspired by others whom He has created. He wants you to delight in Him.. He wants you to tell Him that you want to. He wants you to come to Him broken. Christ LOVES tricky puzzles! :D
     ..Like a clay pot that falls to the floor and breaks, Papa God- the Creator, the Artist- then picks up the broken pieces, and puts us back together again: wetting down the clay, changing the heart of it, and sculpting us into something even more beautiful than we could imagine..
     God has placed certain people in your life to inpire you to see Him. To draw you closer to Him. To help you to understand ever so slightly what He will look like when we will be looking at His beautiful face for eternity! He has allowed you to be inspired by those whom you least expect to let you witness how humorous and creative He is, and to show you that He has things planned out. Things just don't, ..happen- so we have to be engaged in the game of learning and listening. If not, we might loose the chance to be inspired and see a little more of God.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The Hands that are Holding the World, are Holding Your Heart..

   One of my most vivid and favored memories as a child is when my family took a week long vacation to Myrtle Beach. As a child, my family didn't spend much "quality time" together unless it was through yelling, at the dinner table where my parents often forgot to show up, or when my parents were fighting in court over custody of my siblings and I.. But this particular memory is a delightful and encouraging one. 

Blurs of waves crashing, and a swaying pier; faint sounds of seagulls and laughter still rings in my ears.
    When I was younger- I was terrified of the ocean. ..I can only fathom it was because the size was extrememly intimidating to me, or perhaps, how unsure it seemed; so violent and vast- and it went on forever..
    My Dad tried, time and again, to convince me that this foreign concept of an ocean was an okay thing. "Your brother and sister loves it, Ainslee! Why don't you want to go play in it and swim, and laugh, and ride the waves like they are?" ..But everytime Dad walked me to where the ocean met the sand, I began to stubbornly and fearfully scream.
    It was taking me in! It was dissolving the earth beneath me! It was burying my feet and trying to pull my little hands out Daddy's! It was strong- stronger than Daddy, and I knew it.
    Finally, Dad scooped me up and walked into the ocean with me; I was screaming the entire time. He held me over his head, and above the crashing waves until he walked out far enough into the ocean where it was calm. Then, He gently let me down, eased me into the water, and allowed me to sit on His knee as he embraced my terrified little body.
In that moment, I knew that my Dad loved me, that the ocean wasn't a bad thing- and that's all that mattered.
    Mom stood at the shore, and sighed with relief (along with the other beach-dwellers that day of whom I'd been disturbing with my high-pitched little girl scream..) and I knew she was joyed that I had made peace with the big blue thing that was swallowing Daddy and I.
    That day, I learned how to swim, ride the gentle waves, and got my very first sand burn. I also fell in love with the ocean. It was one of the very first things I learned to fear and appreciate.
    So many times- when I'm struggling- I revert to this moment.
    When we reach adulthood, all of the sudden- WE are the ones that are supposed to be fearless and wise. We are supposed to have already done it all and fit right into our place in society. We are supposed to be stronger than heartbreak, and depression, and stupid mistakes.
    ...But what happens when we aren't? ..What happens when we don't measure up to the expectations of adulthood? ..What happens when we don't even trust enough to let our Father hold our hands as we stand by the shore and feel so small? ..What happens when we don't notice that He is picking us up, and carrying us over the rough waves, only by His strength? ..What happens when we are too stubborn to be content when He places us into His loving arms and cuddles us as we drown in the Ocean of His Grace?
    Life isn't always pleasant. Life doesn't always go the way we plan it too. Life isn't always comfortable. But when we notice His grace- His Son suffering tremendously after living the perfect life we are unable to, dying on a cross for our sins, rising again, and gifting those whom believe it with the gift of eternity- how can we NOT be comforted with the fact that the Hands that are Holding the World, are Holding Our Hearts?  

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Breakfast for Dessert!

Have you ever come across that odd craving of breakfast, but it's wayyy past time for dinner, and may be morning in China?
Problem Solved.

White Chocolate

+Pretzels

+Yellow Reese's Pieces

______________________

= AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS

Bacon & Eggs

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This morning is kinda a Rainbow Pancake goodbye kinda morning..

How To: 3 containers of Shake n' Pour Bisquick mix (buttermilk); food coloring; 6 mixing bowls; 6 spoons; patience with mixing colors; and be in a joyful and bright mood!

  It's the morning my brother heads back to his Naval base after a week of being home.

I hadn't seen my twin brother for about a year, so the long-over due visit was lovely.

Now, he is a little bit older, and a little bit wiser- but he's STILL the Adam I said goodbye to a year ago before I gave him up to Basic Training. ..Just, a little more frivolous with the women, I think. ahahaha. The joy I feel when I see my brother- indescribable. I know that he accepts me for all that I am, and looks up to me, as I am his older twin sister. It's a beautiful reflection of how Christ accepts us. With all of our flaws, with all of His heart, with selflessness and passion, and joy.
For his coming home party- we gathered as a family and enjoyed a messy helpin' of burritos!
For his going away party- we decided to try rainbow pancakes!
These turned out WONDERFULLY!! (with the exception of the purple ones.. hahaha)
The batch of pancakes added a bright and fresh perspective on an "Oh too familiar" goodbye...
If you want to try your own- good luck! They're quite simple! And have a blast!! We did! 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥